Past vs. Future

Due to recent events that have/will soon be taking place in my life i find myself constantly thinking about the past and the future.
     Both of my younger sisters recently passed away in a car accident. The more time that goes by the more i seem to miss them. I sometimes reminisce on the times that we had together. These memories are all that i have left from them and it scares me to think that they too will fade with time. This fear causes me to spend even more time trying to gather everything that i possibly can about them.
     The future also leaves me anxious. I am less than a month away from bringing a daughter into the world. The emotions i feel seem to go to more extremes than my hormones these days. I am overly excited about her arrival and presence in my life, but i am also extremely nervous about the challenges and new responsibilities i will be faced with as a mother.
       I am frightened that the anticipation of my first child overshadowed my ability to grieve over the losses of my sisters, and that the finality of their death is only beginning to sink in. I can only hope that this in turn does not affect how i feel about the birth of my daughter.